And I ran, I ran so far away.
I just ran, I ran so far today. Couldn't get away...This will be one of many posts anxiously awaiting college.
First and foremost, I am disappointed right now. I think, well, I hope really, that when I go to college, I will have friends that love me like I will love them.
I have an extremely bad feeling when I think about LSU. I am nervous about classes, nervous about applying to vet school, nervous about becoming a vet if I get accepted! I don't want LSU. I want...something more.
I really want to go to Notre Dame, but everything I have is right in average with their scores. (which does mean it is possible I could get accepted. I'm just scared out of my wits to go to Indiana. It is too far away for my comfort.) Sure, there are good colleges all around me. There is Tulane, which is a fabulous school, but it is even more expensive(on average) than Notre Dame. Dad also told me that he would not send me to a liberal arts college, and how much more liberal arts can you get than Tulane. There is Rice. Rice is...intimidating. I'd love to go there. I went there for a soccer camp and I love the campus. It is absolutely beautiful with trees casting shadows all over the walkways and pillars carved in Latin. Rice was Logan's first choice and he didn't get accepted. I have a higher GPA than Logan did and more extracurricular activities, but I have the same ACT score. There are not really any Louisiana schools that I would like going to(Northwestern, Louisiana Tech, ULL, etc) . I just...I just wouldn't enjoy that. McNeese is NOT an option. I am leaving Lake Charles as soon as possible.
Want to hear another reason why I am scared of college? I am going to LSU. LSU is in Baton Rouge. I'm scared of driving in Baton Rouge. I know I will learn my way around, but Baton Rouge is kind of...a...survival of the fittest...place to drive. I'm very cautious when it comes to my car. I just see myself waiting to pull out of a parking lot and there is a line of cars behind me all honking at me.
I don't know what I want. That's what scares me.
I want my friends to accept me!! Not just in Baton Rouge, but here. I want to be loved.
Lord, I'll quit being so dramatic. I'm just in a...depression mood of "nobody wants to talk to me..."
*sighs*
-Meredith
xoxo
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